Making Meals Meaningful

Theology of the Home is a beautifully written invitation to cultivating meaningful moments and spaces in the home. It encapsulates so much of what I’ll elaborate on and share from my personal perspective below.

I grew up using cloth napkins, something I’m grateful my mother made a staple at mealtimes. She also taught me the significance of setting the table with intention and purpose. Even if we were eating pizza, my brother and I knew we still needed to put out plates with a fork, knife and spoon in their proper places. Condiments and sides were placed in bowls (not served in their original container) and it wasn’t uncommon for tapered candles to be lit before we all sat down for the evening meal. Rather than creating a stiff or formal atmosphere, it invited elegance and significance to the time we were going to share as a family.

I’ve carried much of this into our daily routine, even with three who are three and under. Our children know to place their cloth napkins in their laps, and wait for the meal to be blessed and food served on their plates before “digging in”.

This time is sacred. We’re teaching our children to break bread with us and their siblings. Creating a rhythm and expectations around the family table at home has enabled us to take our children out to restaurants with relative ease. We’ve prepared them by setting a standard that is the same at home as it is out of the house.

We have decided that it is better to eat as a family than it is to feed the children first or separately at a children’s table. This is not to say that we won’t create a children’s table at holidays. We probably will but right now, we have made the every day cadence focused on togetherness and sharing. We wait for everyone to be seated, pause to pray, and share by passing the sides. And what we have witnessed result has been beautiful. Our oldest, who is 3.5 yo, attentively ensures that everyone is seated and then he initiates the prayer – often exclaiming as soon as everyone is at their place, “Oh! We need to pray! In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit ….”

The simple truth is that we are made for relationship and we are made to rest in meaningful moments. But meaningful moments don’t just happen. They require intention and attention. Our children, even as toddlers, understand beauty. They know what is good and what’s more, they delight in it. They enjoy savoring a yummy meal and they appreciate the details of cloth napkins, plates and silverware – often asking for it and reminding us if one of the essentials is missing.

Setting the table is also an invitation for participation. Our 3.5 yo knows exactly where the napkins are and carefully selects one for each member present and our 2 yo diligently stands on tippy toes to pick out silverware from the drawer (with mommy present) and then excitedly runs to place spoons and serving utensils on the table (we stick with spoons at this age, for the record I do not recommend tots helping with knives and forks).

We have also loved the evolution of dining conversation. We started this daily tradition when our oldest was a newborn. He lounged next to us in his bouncer and then graduated to the high chair, and now he sits at a “big boy” seat while his sister sits in her “big girl” seat and their little brother now occupies the high chair. I treasure this progression and reminder of savoring these mundane memories that are precious and pass quickly. As they have progressed to different seats at the table, their engagement has grown too. From coos, to babbles, we now get to ask simple questions and delight in the sweet and thoughtful responses. It matters to our children just as much as it matters to us to be included. Asking our son and daughter, “how was your day?” has translated into them asking others “how are you?” or “how is your day going?” often unprompted by us.

Children are sponges and they are impressionable. They are also incredibly aware and intelligent. They soak up attention and learn to share what is poured into them out to others. We want them to know they are loved and that we treasure sitting with them and sharing a meal just as our hope is that they will invite their friends into this space of care and love when those seasons in their lives come.

Know that every care you take out of love for your family is felt. It might not be commented on and it might not be even consciously noticed for years but the purpose you place in cultivating beauty for the sake of stewarding authentic relationship and connection will positively impact your home and the intentional formation of your little ones. We are made for beauty and purpose. Lean into these small moments of connection into your home, and let love and grace abound.

See the post on Little One Eating Essentials for the tools that have helped facilitate early eating and mealtimes with our tinies.

May your day be filled with what is beautiful and good ~ Caitlyn

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